Frieda passed away yesterday (June 11th, 2008), dying peacefully while I stroked her and whispered in her ear. What do you say to someone who's been by your side for over 16 years? Which words do you choose when you know they'll be the last ever heard?I told her that I loved her. I asked her to wait for me on the other side. I encouraged her to go forward boldly, that the other dogs I have loved and lost in my life would be waiting to welcome her. I assured her that we'd be together again somehow, sometime - that love like ours is the most powerful force in the universe, it's the one thing that lasts.
Most of all, I thanked her. Frieda has spent more time with me than any other being in my adult life. She was there through sickness and in health, always ready to offer comfort and an enthusiastic tail wag. An intrepid travel companion, she ranged across the country with me, looking for adventure and new garbage cans.
Frieda also loved bicycling. In her younger years, she would balance her front feet on the handlebars, then later, she rode in my basket, ears sailing back in the wind. She found entertainment in small things - since she grew up in the French Quarter, a plastic "go cup" was always a favorite toy. She'd pounce on the hapless cup, shaking it with ferocity, tossing and batting it with glee.
She was named after the famous artist Frieda Kahlo, who was known for self portraits accenting her mustache and unibrow. Frieda's own mustache and eyebrows were strikingly similar. It was fitting that she be named after an artist: For most of her life, she worked daily in my art gallery as official greeter. She excelled at the job and took it quite seriously. Many regular customers came specifically just to see Frieda, shopping was a sidebar.A terrier mix, we early on discovered her strange love of fruits and vegetables, so she became Frieda the Vegeterrier. Strawberries and tomatoes were big favorites, but the ultimate treat was a banana. She cheerfully gobbled one down the night before she died.
Below, you'll find some images of Frieda. I share them as a tribute to her extraordinary life and also as a reminder of the one thing that even death cannot harm: Unconditional love.
86 comments:
I've gotten tons of e-mails from people who have visited Frieda's blog. Below, I'm posting some of them (deleting names). Thanks to all those who have responded with such kind words. Frieda's love is still working hard to make the world a better place.
I am sorry to hear that you lost your friend Frieda. She was a great dog and will be missed by everyone who knew her.
We were so sorry to hear about little Friedas death. We loved her too. We always enjoyed her visits early in the morning when we would feed her bites of toast or whatever we had left over from breakfast. She was such a sweetheart and I know Scotty will miss her too. She will be remembered with love. We will be thinking of you, for we know all too well how it is to lose such a friend. Love and God Bless
I am so sorry to hear about your baby. I know how awful it is to loose a pet. In many ways I have been blessed by the longevity of family members, but several pets have left me. I had one poodle, Max, who had seizures all the time. He lived to be so so old and finally he was hardly able to get up to go outside. I couldn't take him to the vet, so I had my aunt do it. Even though I knew it was time I still didn't feel I had given him the proper good-bye. I wish that he had gone on his own, like your dog. I don't suppose we get to choose much about our lives.
What things we miss when life rushes by. My world view is that we, humans, are just one of many glorious living things on this blue planet, and if you stare truth in the face, it is plain that we are all equals. I have a special love of dogs and cats and count some my very best friends in the world. They have so much to teach us and we are often too dim to “get it.” So I mourn sweet Frieda’s passing and wish only I had more time with her. She was a fine friend and never complained of my human smell, inability to wag my tail or to communicate on any level but a verbal one…. How dull is that? I wish you well in your many memories of such a wonderful and long term friend.
PS…did you know that some people do not know unconditional love? I think it a travesty, but it is so.
Thank you for sharing the wonderful pictures and stories of Frieda. I lost my beloved dackle Leo many years ago, but his spirit remains.
You have my sympathy. And Frieda was a sailor!
Our Boxer who lived to age 14 was truly a member of the family, understood lots of English in words and our body movements.
Get another pet soon!
My heart is there, thank you for letting me be on the list that knew her and all the great memories that she gave us.
I'm so sorry to hear of Frieda's passing.It's never easy losing a pet because they are our family and our children. Know that she had a wonderful life with you and she will always look out after you from her place in heaven. I always loved that little dog and enjoyed having her sit in my lap when I used to work for you. I love you,
My deepest sympathy--Our four legged family members are just as dear as anyone else. Happy memories are one of their best gifts of us.
I am so sorry to hear about Frieda. I'll never forget seeing you riding your bike by our house with Frieda in the basket. That sight always made me smile. Frieda certainly had a great life with you as her caretaker. I know she will be missed by all who knew her, especially you and Jack.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Frieda was a wonderful Fur-Person. I did not know her well, but I will, nonetheless, miss her.
My goodness, Ellis. For once, I'm speechless. What a sweet girl. Such style, such class. Big dark eyes. Princess of Second Saturday when Quarter Moon was THE place to be for that monthly delight. I know what you mean about unqualified love and devotion. I was with Boomer longer than either of my husbands -- and liked him better than either of them. And as someone famous once said, "If there are no dogs in heaven, then I want to go wherever they go." Hugs and happy memories -- Jean
...I was so sorry to hear that Frieda,the vegeterrier passed on yesterday... I remember all the times she rushed to meet me when she heard my car pull up to the gallery next door. Always hopeful that I had one of her favorite treats in my pocket, she was rarely disappointed. Sasha, myBulivard Dog(which is my name for a fancy streetdog that lived on beach blvd after we found her dumped off at the beach, starving and very mistreated) always looked forward to seeing Frieda and Jack...really her only dog friends.After Katrina , Frieda always knew my car when I came by to visit and when I walked over, she always barked her greeting.....I shed a few tears when I read what you wrote but I smile with my many memories of her..
I am very sorry at your loss and know exactly what you are feeling. Our King Charles Spaniel was our “son and heir” until our human son came along after eleven years. Marvel had a stroke that paralyzed his hind legs and we had to put him to sleep. It was an extremely difficult time and even after all these years I am getting “teared up” just typing this (was 27 years ago !!!!!)
I enjoyed the pictures… you were very fortunate to have had such a great dog-friend! But, as they say, ya gotta be one to have one!! Take care…
Attached is the Rainbow Bridge piece that I mentioned. Our hearts are with you in this difficult time. Dogs really are special creatures and they capture a big piece of our hearts.
The Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
She came in with 'bad' suppers [F.Q. garbage], leaves with a good one (after a long line of above average meals from you' truly) and splits on a high ("morning s t r o l l around the yard"). What a trip!!
Bless her heart ~ and ours who knew and loved her well. Now she really becomes the free~girl/Spirit.
Sat Nam, Free~da ~~~ ~~ ~
Lovely...I am having a glass of wine in Frieda's memory. To a wonderful afterlife and until we see her there.
Although Frieda was never my favorite dog--until our last visit when she looked like such a creature of the ancient world, I know that you loved her very, very much. I love your blog--especially Frieda with Frieda and of course, the picture of her at the birthday party. You have had a lot of dogs and I remember them all very fondly. Even Frieda. I hope she and Annie are hanging out under a tree somewhere, talking.
my soul and heart aches and laughs with you dear Ellis. i well remember the 1st time garry, max, and i met you on the beach with you on the bike. how welcomed you and Frieda made us feel to the bay. that feeling always come from you each time we met. maybe Frieda and max will remember each other and some of their romps on the beach in doggy heaven. I know i will remember. much love to you.
I meet Frieda on my second trip to Bay. Eddy & I stayed at your place because we could bring our Snip.
Frieda greeted us with a with her gracious but protective grin, letting us know that if there was anything we needed she would be the one to get it for us.
I can imagine what she meant to you and how much she will be missed by all around there.
Our babies are laying at my feet this moment, one passing gas from the chicken he found at the lake on a walk today and the other resting his little chin on my ankle. I would not want to be any place else though, joy is not a big enough word for what they bring.
Please accept our condolences about sweet little Frieda and hopes for more laughs and memories to surface.
At home I have a picture of you and Freida on the rock behind the house. Unfortunately it is not digital and not here. I know the sorrow you are feeling. I think only other dog lovers can understand how much our canine companions become a part of our lives and souls. Your web site for Freida is wonderful and your writing so perfect. I wish I had your descriptive ability. I must go back to my email about Jet. I may not have sent it to you. Jet left us in late March after 15 and a half years. I am still not able to write or talk about her without a tear and it has been very hard to get on the boat without her.
Our love and sympathy for your loss
Ellis, so sorry to hear about Frieda. We will miss her. We send our love , prayers and sympathy.
Animals are certainly part of our families and very loved. We know you will miss her so much. Thanks for being so loving and kind to her for so long.
I am sorry for the loss of that wonderful creature. She always amazed us when we saw her riding the bike with you in downtown BSL.
I'm so sorry to here abour Frieda...she was a dear, except in thunderstorms! I remember holding her at the gallery when we had a storm...she shook all over, and was glad that I took pity upon her. what a loss for you, after all those years together, and what a great tribute from you, for her. reminds me of Ms Moseley's painting of "dog heaven" entitled "until today I thought I was folks"...a favorite for those who had pets that were in "heaven".
Frieda helped me in many ways that cannot be expressed. I have and will think of her and you and life in the Bay quite often.
You made me get up and go outside and feed Foxy a hot dog. :) It is not as good for her as a strawberry or a banana, but i know she likes the hot dog. Paula made us use them as treats during class. That was the first time I had taken someone I cared for to a class. Foxy is my first dog, and I am backing off tears thinking how it feels for you right now.
It may be too soon, but I once in a while need to have a companion for Foxy when I am busy. She is very interested in being involved with daily activities, she mostly just wants to be pet and acknowledged as an individual.
I am so saddened by your temporary separation from Frieda. I am sure she is wagging her tail, looking back, thankful for all that you exposed her to. She loves you unconditionally. Her gift to you is the gift you gave to her. She is thankful.
I am so sorry to hear about Frieda. She was a kind friend.
I'm sorry for your loss. Just thinking of Frieda brings a smile to my face as I know it does yours. I'm happy to know there is a blog to show the joy she added to your life and the lives of so many others.
Unconditional love,
unconditional caring,
fun to be with and hang out.
What makes a good furry friend
makes for a better human being.
Thank you Frieda and thank you Ellis.
I couldn't steal her food too easy.
rocket the dog
I'm so sorry to hear of Frieda's passing. The only positive thing I have to say about death is that it keeps housing prices under control. Of course, that doesn't apply to dogs. I have nothing good to say about a sweet dog's passing.
Aaaaawww, this is so sad. I’m sorry. Condolences and hugs …
It's always good to hear from you, but of course I am sad that your latest news is about the loss of Frieda. I do indeed remember her and know what a loss she is for you.
Thinking of you,
...I share your belief that our loving animal friends must have some part in the next life. Having read the entire Bible cover to cover at least six times over the years, I have never found any teaching that animals have no afterlife unless one is referring to Ecclesiastes 3:18-22, which explicitly says that “Man’s fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: as one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; man has no advantage over the animal…” But the message of that passage is ambiguous; it ends with the same conclusion you draw about the afterlife; we cannot possibly know what it holds. I believe that dogs were created specifically to provide humans with a kind of friendship unavailable elsewhere and I see no reason to believe that will change in the afterlife...
Starting the day crying and smiling, I'll miss her.
Ellis,
I know the love you're talking about - what would we do without it? Your tribute does her justice. So many of the things you said about Frieda are true about yourself, too. Being dog-like is my highest compliment!
Thanks for sharing. Jeannie
We are so sorry for your loss. We rejoice for Frieda's release from all ills and celebrate the chances given by all to know her and know you through her. We will miss her. Lately we had seen Frieda more than you! My daughter will have to learn a new way to identify you. She always refered to you a Frieda's Mom. Maybe later my daughter will understand that Frienda was really your perfect friend (No disparaging comment on your people friends intended.) Grieve joyfully and know you are not alone.
it seems to me dogs have a spirit that is unlike any other and sometimes you make a soul connection with them. Freida girl will be missed walking this earth with you.
much love & light,
Sorry to learn of Frieda's passing. Sad to report that Sarge died Monday - almost 15 years to the day that he joined me in what was a joyful partnership. I can't imagine what life would be like without dogs to remind us of our needs and frailties. It is good to note how your fond memories of Frieda are easing the sadness of her passes. By the way, I truly believe that all dogs go to Heaven while not all humans do!
I am so sorry to hear about Frieda. I only met her that one time, but I could tell she was a very sweet dog. David said he enjoyed her company. It is never easy to lose a pet, but one that has been a member of your family for a long time is even harder to let go of. You have my sympathy and loving thoughts.
I too lost my pal, Dak, after 16 years. People thought I was crazy to grieve so for a dog. I'm glad to find out I am not alone. There was an article by a six year old who had just lost his dog. His parents asked how he was and he said fine. They pressed him, thinking he wasn't grieving and he told them people live longer than dogs because it takes us longer to love. Dogs, on the other hand, come into the world loving, so God can take them earlier.
I'm so sorry. She was a sweetie and we'll miss her.
---M&R loved Frieda too----
---at first & at last sight---
I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad she had a somewhat easy passing. The best way for me to handle the immense grief when a beloved pet dies is to know and remember that you gave the dog all the love and warmth they could handle for as long as they lived. Of course, they gave it right back and that's what makes it so hard on us. I always do think of the Sunshine Bridge and it makes death less scary knowing your lovable pups are waiting. I will say a prayer for Frieda's soul because I am convinced they do have them and will say a prayer for you also.
I know that you will miss her ..... there just aren't good words other than she had a remarkable life and you were so fortunate to share it with her.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I will miss Frieda very much she always brought a smile to me. We lost Blue last year and I can understand the variety of emotions going through you at this time. I will keep you in my prayers.
I am sorry to learn that Frieda passed away.
It was delightful to hear that you are remembering the good times with her and are celebrating her life with you.
I am always sorry to hear about people that I love suffering a loss of someone or something that they love. After losing my 21 year old son, I can only tell you this: Be in appreciation for the people and things you love today, for one day they will be gone - sometimes sooner than we ever thought.
With much love.
Suddenly is so much harder than gradually. When our Bettie died she was sure it was time, and when Peter died, well, we were not ready.
Our present genius dog, Beaumont, is on-beyond dog, as you understand, and only delicately do we touch on his mortality.
Still, every day with him redefines and confounds the notion of mortality. So much we have learned from our beloved former doggies, that Beaumont's stay with us is that much better. Leaps and bounds! of learning and awareness of their great capacities, their soul, their lessons and gifts.
I am so sorry for your loss, and welcome any and all of the blossoms of love and streams of grief that come in the near future about Frieda.
DAMN ELLIS, WHO CAN STOP CRYING LONG ENOUGH TO ADD TO THE BLOG????MY SINCERE SYMPATHY..STILL MOURNING OVER SHEP, ONLY BEEN 38 YEARS....SIGH. A BEAUTIFUL TRIBUTE TO FRIEDA.... MUCH LOVE,
She was so beautiful. Her abundant love and personality are evident in every photo. I am sorry she is gone. I am glad you had her, what a beautiful soul.
And, I share your belief about dogs in heaven, cause, in my book it ain't heaven unless they are there with us.
May you always hold close the love you shared,
I'm so sorry to hear about Freida. She was so adorable!!! One of the joys of going to Quarter Moon was visiting with Freida, you too of course:-))
Sorry to hear about your Frieda's passing. I too recently lost a good friend - My alpha male cat, Sylvie (short for Sylvester). Consumed by a mountain lion in my backyard.
Sylvie - part sumo wrestler, part bliss bunny - went out with a bang not a whimper, Hopefully, the lion carries a scratch or two from our fierce friend Syl. I commiserate with you.
I was so very sorry to hear about Frieda!! She was such a great dog. We remember her riding on your bicycle and thought it was so cute we told everyone about her. I know it is so hard when they go, but I do believe we will be with them on the other side. Love that strong NEVER ends. I cry as I send this poem, but it meant so much to me when my three cats died that I thought it might mean as much to you.
Love and tears,
I regret that my knowledge of your beloved Frieda was brief, which was certainly my loss, for some being that has captured a heart such as yours for 16 years...must've been One Good Dog.
News of Frieda's passing reached us bittersweetly here in Hongo, where we keep a tokonoma, a sort of recess in the wall of our living room, a place reserved for wabi sabi objects, flowers, and favorite photos of those we have loved and lost. Among those photos is one of Boo-boo, our wonderful black cat from Treme and Kerlerec St., who died on June 11 nine years ago...
With that in mind, I had taken Boo-boo's photo out of the tokonoma Wednesday morning and put it on the dining table, locus of eating, coffee drinking, newspaper reading, TV watching, conversation, and e-mail correspondence . . . and so it is that Frieda and you have joined us in this little nodule of significance in the vast cycle of things that includes the felt promise of a warm, all-absorbing reunion.
i do not know much about blogging but i do know much about the love of pets. it is about all i have these days; in fact, it is about all i have ever had. was it a decision that i made or was i just lucky? was it a conscious decision? did i really know something?
i don't think they "wait" for us because, they never fully leave. she is still there with you and will always be there. some folks call them memories. i like to call them visits. and nobody, but nobody, can take them away from you. she was tired.
I"m so sorry about your Frieda. I remember her so well from when I first met you at your shop on Main Street - you were both so welcoming! I'm thinking about you in your loss.
I'm so sorry to hear this - she was a funky dog and i remember she used to love to drink Coca-Cola, and her sandpaper coat was one-of-a-kind - as was she. Love.
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss – I know how much Frieda meant to you and I thank God that she went peacefully…
I lost my best friend Mr. Rico last week. It was also sudden, and like Frieda, he had so many friends. That is part of the bittersweet joy of missing and celebrating our canine friends after they die. I have had folks tear up and even cry when I told them about Rico's death. Like you, we really enjoyed strolling on the beach and walking the streets of Bay Saint Louis. Some folks brought dog treats expressly to give to Rico. And I know that Frieda's friends will want to talk about her. Talking about Rico has really helped me.
I am so sorry to hear about your Frieda. I know they definitely leave happy spots on our souls!
I'm so sorry to hear about Frieda's passing. She was such a character!
I am so very sorry for your loss. I know the pain your heart is going through right now. Just prior to Katrina, I had lost my baby of 14 years, my baby of 13 years and the pup that was less than a year old that Kevin had bought me to fill the void in my heart. They were all labs and all my children. Those around me knew my suffering and tried everything they could think of to help fill the voids left in my heart. (Hence the yard full that I have right now!)
I really don't think those voids will ever be filled but new memories with my new children does help somewhat. Right after the third passing within that short period of time I thought I was going to hit bottom. I decided to just go for a drive down towards Dauphin Island one day just to get out before I went nuts. A good friend of mine went along for the trip and we stopped at every little place that looked interesting. I found the following saying on a card in one of the shops and burst into tears.
After that, I felt like a rainbow was starting to shine through the clouds that had been hanging over my head. From time to time I take a copy of the card out an read it when I look over the few pictures that I was able to save of my babies. (The original was messed up pretty bad during Katrina but I was able to make a couple of it.) Here is what it says.....
They will not go quietly,
the dogs who've shared our lives.
In subtle ways they let us know
their spirit still survives.
Old habits still make us think
we hear a barking at the door.
Or step back when we drop
a tasty morsel on the floor.
Our feet still go around the place
the food dish used to be,
And, sometimes, coming home at night,
we miss them terribly.
And although time may bring new friends
and a new food dish to fill,
That one place in our hearts
belongs to them....
and always will.
I'm so sorry to hear about Frieda. I know I haven't seen much of her lately but she has been on my mind quite a bit. I think of her often and will miss her dearly. I hope you are ok and it there is anything I can do please let me know. I don't know if you are supposed to pray for animals or dogs in particular but, then I've never paid to much attention to rules, so Frieda will be in my prayers. Give my love to Jack. I hope he isn't too lonely now.
Sorry to hear about Frieda passing. I'm sure that leaves a big gap.
You are fortunate to have known that kind of long-time friend.
I'm sorry to hear that.
I never met Frieda, but I can tell you loved her wholeheartedly and brought her a lifetime of joy, fun romping and love.
Thank you for sharing. I needed a good cry today! :) I never knew how much a dog could enrich your life until Buddha came into our lives. Ellis is right, the unconditional love not only for his owners, but to every living thing is an amazing lesson to learn from dogs. And how simple it can be to feel and share joy.
I know Frieda is meeting up with Ole Friends- Buddy, CoCo, Tooter, Annie & Daisy. We all mourned and missed our friends that were always by our sides.
My feeling is we gave our all to our devoted friends and they knew that. And we have our wonderful memories to remind us every day of their loyalty.
This is a little note I did...
ANNIE
I explained to ST. Peter, I'd rather stay here Outside the Pearly
Gate.
I won't be a nuisance, I won't even bark, I'll be very patient and wait.
I'll be here, chewing on a celestial bone, no matter how long you may be.
I'd miss you so much, if I went in alone, It wouldn't be heaven for me.
I feel sure these are Frieda's thoughts also. You are in my thoughts and Prayers.
I really didn't know Frieda personally. But I remember you two together on the bike...even before I knew you. My condolences to you, but your blog is so uplifting, I know it will help you to enjoy your memories of Frieda and be happy that you had such a wonderful relationship with her.
Missy Sippi and I will think of you and Frieda often. I fear the day I will ever lose her, that Sippi dog who jumped on Santa's float! Philosophically, I must believe that dogs have souls. It's what helps them connect so deeply with people. Heaven? You are in heaven when you have a dog like Frieda or Missy!
am so sorry for your loss of your precious Frieda.. I know it must be hard, but I love the blog you put together and the pictures were so sweet.. Thanks for sharing her with us...
Oh my, what a dear she was, your Frieda. And your tribute to her is beautiful.
Our dogs bring us more joy than we can measure. Lucky you, to have had the pleasure of Frieda's company for so long.
Peace to Frieda's spirit, and to you.
I'm so sorry to hear about Frieda. She always made me feel right at home when I stayed with you, and she loved her life and lived it to the fullest. I'm glad to hear it was quick and that she had her morning stroll.
Much love and deepest sympathy,
Just want to convey my condolences for your loss. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful tribute to Freida with your blog. You will be in my thoughts and prayers during this time of sorrow and transition.
I am SO so sorry about Frieda. What a jewel. She was so lucky to have met you...no dog could have hoped for a better life companion. I will miss her very much.
A friend sent me your blog about Frieda. Of course I cried in sympathy with you as I have had many dogs. Right now I have 2 young Cairn Terriers that look like your Frieda except for color. Thank you for sharing your life with her and your knowledge that she waits for you. I forget who it was that said "If there are no dogs in heaven, I am not going there"
A friend sent me your blog about Frieda. Of course I cried in sympathy with you as I have had many dogs. Right now I have 2 young Cairn Terriers that look like your Frieda except for color. Thank you for sharing your life with her and your knowledge that she waits for you. I forget who it was that said "If there are no dogs in heaven, I am not going there"
My thoughts go out to you - Brigitte and Dixie will greet and befriend Frieda. Maybe she could give Peter a lick?
I am so very sorry. I know how much she meant to you. She was a character. I send you much love and healing of your heart.
Thank you for letting us know about Frieda, such a sweetheart; we are sorry we don't have any pictures of her. We think of you often and we send our love.
Thank you for letting us know about Frieda, such a sweetheart; we are sorry we don't have any pictures of her. We think of you often and we send our love.
I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved Frieda....what a sweet, amazing and wonderful companion she was! She will be greatly missed.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I still choke up over Elvira two years later.
I think it's great you made her a blogspot. It's a fitting memorial.
I was so sorry to hear about Frieda. What a cool dog she was. Those photos are priceless.
We send our heartiest condolences. Thank you for sharing your life with Frieda with us.
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